CAMOTES ISLAND, CEBU, Philippines ----- A
friend’s remark unsettled me lately. He surmised I don’t wish to get married
because I hold-off men at arm’s length. Something in my actuations made him
imply I have completely scrapped the idea of marriage. Perception is not
everything!
What
do I want really? Am I content being single? Am I peaceful with my choice?
Marriage was something I planned doing in my 20’s. What if I had been destined
for marriage all along? Now this thought unsettles me.
In
business, I developed a habit in making tough decisions on calculated risks.
When knowledge and cash capital are deficient, sheer guts takes over. Concepts
of ROI, operating capital, profit and loss ratio, become inapplicable tools in
the so-called “university of married life.”
Thick clouds of doubt run through my head. Can I still conceive a child? Can this frail body endure childbirth? Random train of thoughts, countless what-if’s and unending lists of possible risks. It’s like starting an argument between science and faith.
It’s
a humbling experience to admit I have reached my comfort zone only to realize I
might make a life turn anytime in the near future and embrace an unfamiliar
ground. What if my defiance to stay at my comfort zone is my will and not God’s
will?
I’m
re-reading and currently halfway to Rick Warren’s 2003 Best-Seller. I have
purposely detached from the demands of work to be able to hear God’s voice. I
feel that I’m traveling in a foreign territory and I needed a road map.
I'm
at a crossroad. Which way to go?
N.B. Exported from: blog.friendster.com
05 Oct 2005
ReplyDeleteCATHEE
Whatever track u think u r in right now, I am sure God has willed u to it. I’m ur prayer warrior…so I’m sure He has heard my prayers for u too. Sis, true - a college degree, an MBA, a doctorate even is zilch when it comes to marriage & family life. I grew up a gazillion times since I got married & had a son. I learned the true meaning of selflessness & humility. And to think I’m a relative “baby” to this new life…I’ve got years ahead. Honestly, I’ve got a lot of “what ifs” but I don’t think I’d like my life any other way. Hmmmm…marriage…you just gotta - and when you’re there, you learn to swim (even if u don’t know how). God will whisper to you - in His time.
extracted from http://commentaries-on-singles.blog.friendster.com/2005/10/im-at-a-crossroad/
21 Oct 2005
ReplyDeleteZIGGY
I understand from your standpoint that you almost if not always weight things out in life. “The cost of doing vs. the cost of not doing”… So far, nothing is wrong with that infact, it is the most logical, rational and may I add the safest way of playing out your cards in life. But then again…Love knows no logic nor reason for that matter. “Love moves in mysterious ways” as the song goes. In love we become vulnerable, we are giving our partner the power to hurt us yet love too can make us stronger than we believe we really are. In the end, wether you get married or not, its still about your mindset and your faith. In every circumstance you always have a choice to be the winner or the victim, to be better or bitter, to fight or to flee. God gave you that freedom and its only yourself and the actions you take that can make things happen. Always remember that “the secret of life is not just to live, but to have something worthwile to live for. For we live only once. But if we live right, once is enough”.. No regrets, learn as much and live life to the fullest!
extracted from http://commentaries-on-singles.blog.friendster.com/2005/10/im-at-a-crossroad/
29 Oct 2005
ReplyDeleteKOFIJUNKIE
a character from a book that i once read says “we are caught between doing what we want and what destiny wants us to become” i think finding peace is not doing what we want but rather finding joy in where we are. my current relationship is a chaos. family affairs and other things to mention. it’s a whole nine yards of an ordinary teledrama most people watch in tubes. a boob in life, sporadically. but inspite of the whole nine yards, marriage is something we look forward to do in soonest time. you see, finding joy is not a step away…we are in it already, we just dont see it cuz we want to see the other way. have faith, The Lord works in mysterious ways.
extracted from http://commentaries-on-singles.blog.friendster.com/2005/10/im-at-a-crossroad/
09 Jan 2006
ReplyDeleteVERGIL
just follow your heart where it’ll lead you to…. c”,)
extracted from http://commentaries-on-singles.blog.friendster.com/2005/10/im-at-a-crossroad/
22 Aug 2007
ReplyDeleteRAPHAEL
hi apil ko ha :-) only 1thing i cn share 8 wid u,u hav gift of talents.share wid ur luvd ones nd i know wind of change wil appear.
jst a pluck of strings n ur guitar and harmony will bring it on.
godbless :-)
extracted from http://commentaries-on-singles.blog.friendster.com/2005/10/im-at-a-crossroad/
11 Jan 2006
ReplyDeleteHERBERT EUGENE
i have nothing to say but i just remembered our older days before…. i know youw will laugh when you read this. hehehe i dont read blogs but i tried reading yours and it made me laugh. kewl… and go where your heart is. :_)
extracted from http://commentaries-on-singles.blog.friendster.com/2005/10/im-at-a-crossroad/
24 Aug 2007
ReplyDeleteMICH NANAYANNA
Hi there! Just found your blog & thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts. If I may say, being single per se is not an unhappy state of life. Not being content and accepting of being single make a single person unhappy. Being married to a wonderful person is better than staying single. Yet, not all are that lucky and staying single is better than being in a bad marriage. Have faith, things happen for a reason.
extracted from http://commentaries-on-singles.blog.friendster.com/2005/10/im-at-a-crossroad/
29 Nov 2009
ReplyDeleteARIES
To all, it’s funny it took me 3 years to find our what I want :-) My realization is posted in “Both Sides Now”. Thanks for all your inputs and for unceasingly journeying with me.
extracted from http://commentaries-on-singles.blog.friendster.com/2005/10/im-at-a-crossroad/
Sometimes I think about personal development I regret that we get wisdom and knowledge so late. There is an ongoing increasing number of knowledge and experiences, we are not able to learn in some years.
ReplyDeleteFiltering whats right for yourself also needs experience, for a long time we waste time for the wrong. Less people come along with mature wisdom in their twenties. I started late – too late to know what had been important. Now in my age I am blocked because of these too late developments. Knowing that there will be not enough time to reach the level I wished to achieve.
Manners and education, there is the basis. I grew up in a conservative and not open family. My parents grew up during the second world war, my father was forced to fight in Western Europe – he was a paratrooper. They had no time to look after me, because I was born after they wished to get a baby. That time I was born they had a shop and worked Monday to Saturday whole day. Income was less, they had to fight to earn enough for us all.
I got everything I needed, but no love, understanding or help for reaching the higher level. Now I am here, honest, supporting, reliable, mid intelligent. But not developed to the level I’d like to have come up to.
I know what I am able to give, but others can’t reflect that. We need to know where we come from to better understand ourselves.
Michael
Michael,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your inputs. I'm sorry to hear about your growing-up years. Like you, everybody has their own sad stories to tell.
As long as there is life, nothing is ultimately hopeless and too late. Keep the faith :-)
Carpe diem!