CEBU, Philippines ----- No family is perfect. Good moral values dictate that family rivalry and squabbles should be quarantined from public scrutiny. If love is of lack, respect should be preserved. But an agonizing setback creeped when a family member by affinity faxed a derogatory, unsubstantiated, and malicious smear mail against me to the Embassy of Switzerland in Manila. It was envy and crab mentality in its most horrific form.
As a visa consultant, I asked questions during the interview to gauge my prognosis. Qatar Airlines had ongoing interliner promo. I asked if it was safe to purchase a ticket. The visa officer gave a resounding yes and advised to coincide the trip at least six (6) weeks later. But I got denied for unknown reasons. The mystery unfolded a few weeks later.
My brother's guilty confession irked me big time! I was consumed by a smoldering anger towards my sister-in-law. I had too many questions, but heard very few answers. I remembered driving in rage insanely fast, non-suicidal, yet unknowingly almost crashing a multicab jeepney one-inch away from collision. I soon found comfort reading biblical passages.
But in the earthly realm, I had difficulty reconciling that an Embassy gives credit to an anonymous letter! Documents presented are verifiable. Hearsay versus legal documents??? To counter the allegations, I filed an Appeal, analogous to the proceedings in the Court of Appeals. All documents were sent to Zurich. Manila was overruled. A visa was granted which I never used.
It was a difficult time. I spent three (3) years ostracized by family for issues that were for them more important than life itself! Birthdays, Christmas, and New Year passed-by alone and uneventful. Hospitalizations became frequent. Pity was the the least I wanted! I was in deep pain.
We cannot choose our family, neither would I admonish rejecting them. But I can choose individuals with whom to foster relationships where I feel accepted and loved unconditionally. I choose forgiveness and acceptance, but to trust again is a different story. There is no sense wasting time and energy begging for affection. Life is too short! Life is still beautiful!
To each of you who make me feel I am family, thank you!
To each of you who make me feel I am family, thank you!
I choose forgiveness and acceptance, but to trust again is a different story. <--- love it!!
ReplyDeleteI am speechless and dumbfounded...feel numb after reading your latest update.
ReplyDeleteI've got to believe there's some sort of nature "anomaly" that happened somewhere down the line in your family because this kind of thing doesn't normally happen to families. Families are and should always be a person's haven and safe place and not the opposite.
{{{{cyberhugs}}}}} and lotsa love...
@CATHEE Sis, you're a psychologist; a product of the University of the Philippines (Diliman). You probably have formed your own diagnosis and propose pschotherapy treatments based on repititive behavioral patterns manifested. But we both know that unless one is in denial, no progress will ever take place.
ReplyDeleteI have bigger battles to face. This one is unworthy of my time and emotion. My boundaries are clear, distinct and unyielding. Should they succeed in killing me, this online diary will certainly live on.
For the time being, I have a life to live. I reiterate. Life is too short. Life is still beautiful. Thanks much for the warmth.
I read and re read your post...thinking should i comment or not? Perspective is a very important factor in looking at the entirety of the situation..unfortunately we all have one...only, differs in nature.
ReplyDeleteThe Bible always encourages all of us, believers of Christ, to be forgiving.....The Bible tells us to forgive seventy times seven times seven....However, forgiveness only matters to those who confesses their sins (accepting that they had sin or done wrong). For what good is a medicine to people who doesn't believe they are sick?
Anyway,let me just say though that you can still enjoy the benefit/s of extending forgiveness for your own sake. For forgiveness we give to others, releases us from the bondage that un-forgiveness brings....by then, we can truly moved on and live our lives to the fullest and enjoy it's beauty and the blessings it brings.....
Have a blessed and joyful life ahead...
Very well said Pastor Art! Thanks for your inputs.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness was generously given although there was no show of repentance ever shown. But I retracted it. A death threat coming from a recognizable number is much worse in tenth fold than an anonymous mail intending to malign and destroy me.
It's over and so I thought. It seems there is a sequel to this. The biblical "seventy-times-seven-times-seven" will unfold in God's time and by His grace.
On a Holy Thursday of 2011, I received a barangay summon for complaint/s that is yet again unfounded. It was a wrong venue to settle. My lawyer thinks the same. We allowed her to progress it to the Lupon ng mga Tagapamayapa. I would be hypocrite if I'd say receiving multiple summons & death threats did not destabilize me. However, more than a year later, still no formal charges filed, I cannot help but ponder, "has she been one-peso richer with her 7-year distorted stories?" I certainly doubt it!
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